oh darnit!

i just have to do this while i’m struggling (again!) to finish a 6-page movie analysis.

oh darnit!

i can’t wait for Twilight! dammit dammit dammit! the unbearable 22 days are, well, unbearable! wouldn’t give a shit about it if i hadn’t known that rob pattinson will be playing a vampire. so, yeah, he’s the very reason why i got interested and participate with the hype.

i expected him to have fangs! but nonetheless, Meyer’s vampires are cool. they have more capacity to kill if they can mingle with humans very well! plus, they don’t die under the sun!

dammit!

now, back to work.

jevay \m/

E-heads night

though there has been some downfall…it was still all worth it…

as my first open-field concert, it was too overwhelming for me to see the collage of the E-heads old photos and videos while they sang Alapaap.

The crowd, a blend of different generations (from the former college/high school students who attended their past gigs to kids who were not even born in that era), embarked on that familiar atmosphere that e-heads brought years ago.

We did not mind the long wait after the break because people were battling for water and me and my friends were happily camping on the Fort’s ground. Then, we were stunned, shocked… the moment Ely Buendia’s sister made the announcement. I thought, they’re just going to give a message to the fans but that wasn’t the case…

Though disappointed and ‘bitin’, whatever people are thinking, all of us engaged in the 1-minute silent prayer. People slowly walked out of the venue, most with slumped shoulders and some - just like us - went near the stage to take a moment, by staring at the deserted instruments.

The historical event passed us by like a hurricane…to the point of questioning: "Did it really happen?"

I don’t want a refund and I’m sure all of the people who went there does not want that either.

As a consumer speaking and as a fan, I hope that when everything has been better for each member of the band (emotionally & physically)…they’ll take the stage once again and play and have one hell of a fucking great time with the people.

Reading the messages that members of the E-heads posted from various yahoogroups, it gave great relief that they’re REALLY COOL with each other. I think that’s the most satisfying thought.

I’m proud to be part of one historic event and I hope I can be part of the second one (ifever!)

To Ely Buendia (you should be knighted for your talents! You, Buddy, Marcus and Raimund) please be well…many coming generations would still want to see you reunited again and again….

the question is: is there anyone, in today’s era of OPM can do what E-Heads have done?

I hope so, so that the kids of today can have something to look forward to.

jevay \m/

should i not? or should i go?

If i go….

I’ll be a moth that will intentionally fly around your flame.

It’s my purpose to get burn. Painful or bliss….

if I won’t go….

My fear will win me over…

I know i will regret it,

but what’s worse is, i know i did it by choice….

Jevay \m/

shirts and ties, heels and blazers, don’t we all indulge in this radiation of never-ending fast phase lifestyle.

meager budgets, sore feet, i rolled my eyes at their rolled-up pretentious sleeves.

i guess in the middle of sky-high concretes, someone do feel forced with their days.

does it boil down to reasons of practicality? as one mate said in text:

"if you don’t risk anything…you’ll risk even more"

jevay \m/

hmmm…what to write?

hmmm…. i just had my lunch and as usual its one of those meals that’s unhealthy (i’m a styro-junkie nowadays) and I’m thinking what to write before my break is over.

last week i bought some make-up, you know those low-cost blendable make-up from g-lish and the shades are so cute. I’m starting to collect make-up to implement the plan that i have in mind and last night, i did my first blend on my left eye! I blended those sparkly eyeshadows to create a fantasy-like shade.  I used yellow-green, chrome yellow, frosted pink, silvery white on one eye to check the product’s quality and i loved the result! however, due to the crappiness (?) of my camera, i wasn’t able to capture it the way i want it but nonetheless, i did love it!

Now, it seems like i sound all girl talking about make-up…but really, its not that perspective that you’re thinking compared with what I’m thinking (it gets confusing isn’t? haha). I’m ready to blend! and i’m excited to implement my concepts! so if you have make-up (MAC would be soooooo great) feel free to donate!

god…for sure when i’m done with this and read this entry, this might look like really girly…

outie! 

OH! by the way, i love this band the Arctic Monkeys! Well, actually, they became really popular last 2006 and this is the only time that i’m getting the hype! (sooo outdated…) They’re awesome! The simplicity of the sound (melodic, catchy guitars) and rich lyrics (its like…it consist of moving pictures of narratives), and the yorkshire (sexy) accent of Alex Turner made the package. I love them! I started to like them when I saw their video for The View From the afternoon and when I saw their performance in Youtube for I Bet you look good on the dancefloor, I fell in love. I hope I could still get a copy of their first album.

They’re Good!!!!

outie (for real!)

jevay \m/

dammit…

shucks…i told myself that if i do become a director, i would make a film about the culture of call centers (regarding relationships out of boundaries, the shifting, etc) and lo and behold, when i opened my yahoomail to check some group messages, I saw an announcement for a screening entitled My Fake American Accent: Sex, Lies, and irate calls! Based from the title, its about the sexual relationships (extra marital, extra-curricular or just for fun), filipino agents pretending to be american by using american-sounding aliases, etc. And i said to myself, "dammit! someone already did it!" I was planning on it, because it is an interesting subject. When I was working there, its very amusing to just observe the people and the work ethics itself.

I’m giving thumbs up to those who made this film, I hope they made it more funny and entertaining than the serious drama type because in my opinion, the real deal is quite entertaining. Shucks, now I even miss my Phillies more!

I guess whenever I came up with an idea, i should just write it immediately and pass it to moviemakers so that I won’t rant anymore…..hehehehe….

outie!

jevay \m/

KC

While waiting for my edits…i had the impulse to read some articles regarding Kurt Cobain. Well, the guy is great. He made great music during his time and i thought, i attach here his suicide note. Just for kicks and reflection.

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.

I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

The Suicidal Note of Kurt Donald Cobain, 1967-1994

jevay \m/

lunch break

okay…

i have my own cubicle/table

isn’t that cool? hahahaha…

i lack sleep, and i’m contemplating on my something.

i walk in the middle of a ruckus every morning and i indulge into reading fanfics that were written last 1999-2001. This particular author wrote like 60-75 something chapters about the moffatts! (aha! you think i’ll deny the last post about them? nooooo!) I can do that *bragging* however, i have to get my final pay so I could buy that…hhmmm…lets see pink or white laptop? *giddy*

i’m in a new environment now…i’m trying to get used to it.

i need a smoke…but i can’t. lets see when i get to the seashore, i might have one.

outie!

jevay\m/

The Moffatts forever!

i hate to say that…but

WTF?!

i’m still proud to say it!

if there’s one band that i’ll be really loyal to…

it would be them!

moffattians >> they still roam here on this earth! \m/

haha! yep, damn proud!

Free…at last!

i’m already out of that prison i call, "call center." Finally! i won’t have to deal with whiny Sams who are either extra sweet or sick in the head (sorry, i’m only basing it from my experience). After months and months of desperation and whining about not wanting to go to work, i’ve finally made the decision to get the hell out of there and find a career that will make me love my job more.

What to hate?

Since we’re marketing people who live outside of the Philippines, it means we don’t follow Philippine holidays. For my first job, it was such a bummer going to work on holidays (esp. on Christmas and holy week) and all you receive are complaints from passengers trapped because of the fucking blizzards! Its such a nightmare especially if your account is an airline account! Literally, there are no holidays in the airline industry!

Second, filing for leaves. I understand that in this field of work the number of people to take calls are monitored very carefully, that’s why you have to file your leave way way ahead and its on a first come first serve basis or how tenured you are! That’s the reason why i have to go. I can’t accept the very nature of the rules.

The nature of the job is the main reason why i left. For someone who wants to smoke when they are stressed and for someone who practice sing-screaming, talking 8 or 9 hours straight everyday will literally give you a bleeding throat. This is the kind of work where if you have tootache or sore throat, you won’t be able to function well because you have to concentrate on each call! We’re dealing with reservations and money here, and its not like office work where in if you have sore throat or flu, you can still do your papers.

I understand the nature of the whole policies and of the job and i find it not suitable for me anymore that’s why i need to be out of there.

What to love?

The AUXes!!!!!!! From aux 1-9, that serve as a reason for you not to take calls! Auxes include breaks and other stuff such as coaching or system issues! Enough said. No more explanation needed.

The people that you work with are very diverse! What’s very good about the call center industry is that they don’t discriminate people who apply for the job. As long as you meet the qualifications and the exams, then you’re in! Take it from me. You work with people who came from all walks of life and most of them started out young!

Team Phillies is composed of agents with ages from 20-33. They are diverse people who loves to have fun despite of life’s heaviness. For the past 11 months that i was there, they became part of my motivation to go to work everyday. However, when the client decided to change the restdays of each team member, it added to one of the reasons why i should leave.

If we’re not call center agents, i will not leave them.

But i have a different path to take and for the rest, i’ll miss you and goodluck!

I CAN BREATHE…for now.

jevay \m/